It's Friday. Sex?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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