we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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