You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize