'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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