this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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