the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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