I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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