maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize