You were right. It hurts to walk today.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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