in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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