i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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