Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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