like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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