He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize