Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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