And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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