just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize