I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize