Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize