Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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