Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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