This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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