Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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