so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize