it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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