I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize