i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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