Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize