3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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