btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize