Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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