is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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