i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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