It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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