my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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