U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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