I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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