At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize