Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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