I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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