I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize