I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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