I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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