Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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