Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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