fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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