Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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