I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize