Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
honey bunches of taint.
it was like eating out sand paper
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Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
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I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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