Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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